I love the uk and I love photographing it, whatever the weather.
Welcome to my collection of Grey Britain, a celebration of the beauty that still exists when it is wet, foggy, drizzly and damp.
It is national writing day today, as well as the solstice. A time for welcoming and being grateful for the sun and fine weather.
Go silently was meant to be about finding calm in a chaotic world. a world where we are thrown into a media mix of news, advertising, and social networking. Everywhere is vying for our attention, access to our purse, our support or our opinion. Noise is frequently all around us pulling us ither and tither. Go Silently was meant to be a pause, a period of stillness within the noise, not outside of it. Right now I find myself outside of it and wanting to be a million miles way from it.
Today I sat in the pedestrian area in Sheffield city centre. I watched the world going by. So much diversity, so much poverty and a lot of difference. I saw addiction, I saw homelessness, I saw power being abused and I saw desperation. I did not come away inspired by humanity between all these people. Which brings me to love. I saw no love.
In that hour and a half of pure watching, never once did I witness any love. The opposite of love is not hate… it is selfishness. What I did see was a great deal of selfish behaviour. People so wrapped up in their own world that doors closed on elderly with shopping, mums with babies in arms toppled and fell on the tram unable to find a seat.
Smiling, giving up a seat, saying hello, welcome, how are you? greeting strangers as friends, helping one another, waiting for someone, being patient, being accommodating, being selfless all easy things to do, surely?
Perhaps I was not being loving enough, not projecting all those values that I believe in. I am not sure what made me hold back from being the one to offer love. I have had a very tough time physically lately and today needed my walking stick to get about. Going from occasional mobility problems to virtually constant pain has made me withdraw a little. My hesitation to love feels like more than that though. I feel I have given too much physically, and emotionally recently and it has left my well of humanity rather dry. So dry that it feels like there is nothing left for me to give. How I refill that supply I am not sure. I am around people who are happy to take all that I can offer at no or little cost to them and with but a tiny trickle of love offered in return.
I think it time I found myself a new circle of people to love.
Steve Jobs gave a talk to Stanford University students graduating. In that talk he said that looking back he could now see connections between different events on his life path . At the earlier event he had no idea the particular passions or interests would be useful further down the road, he was just doing what he loved. The example he gave was attending Calligraphy class at college and then using that learning ten years later on building the Mac.He called these events or passions dots.
In response to this, I have drawn out my own path of dots so far. The result is not really what I expected yet it is what I should have expected. Here are all the things I have been passionate about in a rough chronological order.
Seeing these ‘dots’ my Photography starts to make a more sense. I would challenge any one to look at my portfolio and not see these ‘dots’ reflected back. Themes of nature, mysticism, exploration and life stories are everywhere.
Thank you Steve Jobs, for bringing it all together.
I never got tired of wandering with camera, I thought it would always be this way. How wrong I was. I spent the best part of yesterday trekking to National Portrait Gallery, London, and back. Then today another gallery in Leeds to look at some important work I would like to get involved in.
As always when I am out with camera I was buzzing once there. I loved every moment of taking these, of simply being and so much interest and beauty to capture. I enjoyed seeing the portraits as part of the Taylor Wessing Portrait prize exhibition and the added bonus of some Anthony Gormley’s watercolours.
But then the London trip involved being sat on a coach for three and a half hours each way, the rush of the underground with steps (I’m currently disabled), and the sheer effort of getting from a-b complete with heavy gear. I was completely worn out.
Achy and in a lot of pain in Leeds today I was late for the talk I was attending.The people traffic at the station was immense and I got stuck at a ticket gate.
I pushed on anyway and was lucky enough to still meet the curators of the ‘Dying Matters’ exhibition. I still had an interesting conversation, but it was rushed, i was in pain and flustered by this point. They could probably tell. The pictures I got are dark and foreboding, even they show how I was experiencing the world when I took them.
A friends shared a link to a documentary video called ‘one last frame’ by Norwegian artist Niels Windfeldt.
Essentially the conversation is about the magic, specialness or consciousness of photography becoming lost in the ‘obsession’ of just taking pictures. Although beautiful and thought provoking it triggered a heavy doubt in my mind about my own work.
This is where I get demotivated and wonder what it is all for and about. If my passion is photography or image making and it becomes or is just an obsession does that mean that I lose the focus, the raison d etre for having my camera with me and going to these places? Do I make these images for myself, and only myself, obsession and all, or do I make them to share with the world, take them or leave them?
The smallest of adventures these days is such a physical challenge. Is there any point?
A day on, a sleep later and a chat with the friend that shared One Last Frame and I am sitting easier with this doubt a little bit.
My images are my search for personal truth and meaning. I see the world in my own unique way and sometimes I take pleasure in sharing it even if it goes nowhere or does not get appreciated by others. This is why I love photography.
Photography has brought me closer to people, closer to places and closer to understanding myself and my personal values. If that is all it ever does then it has been worthwhile. No matter how much of a challenge the process becomes.
My one last frame will be the one right in front of me when I leave this world silently. And that is ok.
Please go take a look at my full WordPress portfolio. It contains an eclectic selection of my photography.
It is safe to say that I do not yet have a particular subject matter. I would love to know what you think, which are your favourite or least favourite images?
Please go take a look and let me know.
I just returned from Iceland.
Sunrise in winter is after 11am. Most of the daylight is dusk and dawn – days are golden rather than hours. Iceland is extremely quiet and easy going, Nothing is rushed or loud, no drama. The population of the entire country is less that one large uk town
Everything outside of the city is untouched and beautiful beyond description. With so many natural wonders in Iceland I’m truly amazed it does not have more tourists, but then, that means more quiet. No trees or shrubs to speak of, just a few here and there. Makes for unusual and dramatic landscapes. Iceland is a photographers paradise.