Is it possible to suffer loss and sit with it, to hurt and to not know when or even if it will ever feel better? To ache with each reminder but not try and change, suppress or self medicate it away? How about to acknowledge it, and then wait for it to pass, knowing for certain it still sits somewhere within you?
It might not be a death, or the end of a relationship. There are many things to miss deep down as we trundle through life. But grief isn’t something we talk about or share freely, not even to ourselves. We have to be tough, be strong and carry on. I wonder why.
As I Go Silently I often meet with stories of grief. They find me, or maybe I’m looking for them, I don’t know. A weight has been lifted… as the grieving person releases their story. But then they remind themselves they are in the supermarket and there’s a conscience moment where they catch themselves in full flow of grief. Often they will apologise for ‘boring you’ with their story. I am all ears but they are aware now and the mask is pulled tightly back into place. Like somehow they have just offended me, by being human, by revealing their pain, they have shamed themselves.
As I Go Silently it is easier to hear those murmurs of grief bubbling behind the humdrum of life. They are the fabric of each person I meet. I have them, you have them, we all have them, and it really is ok. In fact there is beauty and freedom in letting it out every now and again.